1995 IBR: Days 4-11

September 2 - Day Four - It Only Hurts When I Laugh

In the riders' initial package was a small form. It asked the contestants to describe their funniest or most memorable experiences on the event. When Mary Sue Johnson turned her sheet in at the San Diego checkpoint, she had written, "There is nothing funny about the Iron Butt." Jesse Pereboom echoed her thoughts, but added "I'm having the time of my life!"

He may have changed his mind today. Leaving San Diego at noon guaranteed that the field would storm into the Mojave Desert at the height of the mid-afternoon heat. A casual glance at the weather charts of the southwest offered no hope: It was criminally hot. Even normally scalding towns were setting records. One rider, Robert Fairchild, bailed out of the rally in Gallup, NM. He had come through Yuma at a boiling 113F. It then became worse. He told Steve Chalmers that he couldn't take it any longer.

You can't blame Fairchild for a poor route choice. There are only three rational ways east from California: I-10, I-40, and I-70. You can't reach any of them without riding through a firestorm this weekend. For myself, I enjoy the heat. I'll turn on the electric vest at 70F and don't feel comfortable unless it's at least 90F. But I do recall that the one and only time I absolutely could not continue was on a day that was not as hot as it was in Arizona this afternoon.

Eddie James may be the only person enjoying the hellish weather. He made a wrong turn while in Death Valley and ended up riding through that nightmare twice. It was 118F.

There is expected to be no significant change in the weather over the next few days.

Animal, Mineral, and Vegetable Sightings:

Steve Attwood has surfaced. A deer drilled his Guzzi Le Mans in Oregon. He was uninjured and the bike may be repairable. He is believed to be trying for Florida, though he will have to ride to San Diego first. It sounds impossible, but if anyone can do it, Attwood can.

Not so fortunate was Skip Ciccarelli's Guzzi. A deer took the bike out on the first day. He was unable to obtain parts, including a headlight assembly, and has retired. What is it about Moto Guzzis that Bambi finds so irresistible?

Chuck Pickett squared off against an elk near Yellowstone Park. He reported that the animal, an adult the approximate size of a housing project, stopped in the road and turned to face him as he approached. They stared at each other for "three minutes," according to Pickett. It probably was more like ten seconds, though it must have seemed like ten hours. I have never been able to remember the difference between an elk and a moose. I know that one is psychotic and that the other is both psychotic and _mean_.

Tom Loegering came close to hitting an elk as it was skidding across U.S. 93 in Montana. How close? Tom said that it needed breath mints.

Perhaps it wasn't potentially as grim as if he'd been behind a truckload of pit vipers, but when the back door of the tomato truck swung opened and dropped a few hundred of them in front of Roy Eastwood, he decided that keeping his R1100RS upright through the slop was worthy of an award from the National Gyroscopic Society. We'll look into it.

When Jesse Pereboom pulled into a gas station in Oregon, his tank was attended to by "a hot chick." Jesse is 26 and, after a few days on the road, anything remotely female and breathing must look to him like "a hot chick." He said, "You gotta love those laws against pumping your own gas."

Jim Culp reported seeing a camel near Las Vegas. That admission may earn Culp, an attorney, a drug test when he returns to Salt Lake City.

Good News, Bad News, But Mostly Bad:

Happily, Steve Losofsky's leg was not broken by the rock that crashed through his lower fairing yesterday. He sustained a very bad bruise. His partner at Reno BMW, Jan Cutler, retrieved the limping Losofsky.

Unhappily, Ardys Kellerman broke her left ankle and wrist when she ran off I-40 into the median strip near Grants, NM today. Her K75 was demolished. She was admitted to Presbyterian Hospital in Albuquerque. The cause of the accident is unknown, but it was not attributable to speed. People in a car following her told the state police that she was doing a steady 65 mph on the deserted highway. She was feeling well in San Diego.

Cross-country record holder Ken Hatton, in 6th place after San Diego, is history. Apparently on the way to Florida by way of Mount Rushmore in South Dakota, a sprocket in his ZX-11 disintegrated. It is his third straight DNF on the rally. Hatton's retirement brings the count to seven down and forty-seven to go.

Scooter jockey Ed Otto told Mike Kneebone this afternoon that the Helix is having grave trouble with the blast furnace winds of west Texas. Calling from Fort Stockton, Otto said that he was barely able to manage 40 mph on I-10. If he can make it to Florida, a crew from the American Motorcycle Institute in Daytona will do a complete service on the machine.

Next:

Checkpoint #3
Fort Lauderdale, FL
Opens: 1800, Monday, September 4
Closes: 1900 (five point per minute lateness penalty)
Location: Burger King, Exit 25 on I-95

September 3 - Day Five - Go East, Young Man

If you're rested, you could extend yourself to hit a large bonus site in Lebanon, KS, the former geographic center of the U.S., and for that endless, awful ride through the core of the Great Plains, you'll have to average 1,022 miles every day.

The riders who are truly in need of adult supervision will try for the biggest bonus of the third leg --- paying a visit to Mount Rushmore in South Dakota --- and will have to crank out just under 1,150 miles every day for three straight days.

No matter where you ride, you're looking at 100+ degree heat for 10 hours a day. And not a lot of sleep. And crummy gas station food. And the visions, occasionally degenerating into hallucinations if you don't pay attention to what your brain, or the remains of it, is telling you.

One of the incidental victims of the rally is the rallymaster himself, Steve Chalmers. He'd probably be better off without a telephone, but he is perverse enough to have one and when it rings, he answers. It's rarely happy news.

They're bogging down out there. The reports are few but discouraging. Just taking the straight-shot is looking like a closed checkpoint window in Fort Lauderdale to the stragglers. Ed Otto on the Helix scooter called rallymaster Steve Chalmers from Fort Stockton, TX at 1700 on Saturday. Two other riders were with him. They were depressed, expecting to be deeper in the heart of Texas than they were. With the speeds they were maintaining, they won't make it.

Leonard Aron on the 1946 Indian called Chalmers from Houston. The bike is holding up better than he is. He has discovered that the ordinary routines of daily road life have become a cryptic puzzle. It is Agonie de Butt, a common pathology. You stand at a gas pump eating a bacon cheeseburger with extra cholesterol. Suddenly you cannot recall if the burger should go in your mouth or get stuffed in the tank. Though he will be time-barred in Florida, Leonard's mood remains obstinately gleeful. He will try for Maine.

At least those sorts of calls are comprehensible. The ones from Rick Shrader, universally known as "Swamp Thing" as a tribute to his abrupt finish in the '91 IBR, can be positively disconcerting. Chalmers got one from Rick's wife today. She had just heard from The Thing and wanted to know if a couple of riders, including Steve Attwood, really had been shot.

"S-s-s-h-o-t?" Chalmers stammered in horror.

"That's what Rick heard," she said. "He wants to know whether it's true that the rally is cancelled."

Rick has never actually completed the event. He won't finish this one either. He was calling from New Mexico, roughly 1,000 miles short of where he needed to be.

I can commiserate with Rick, though. On the IBR the misinformation mill is broken if it is not running insanely amok. How a war correspondent ever gets anything accurate is an amazement to me. I used to look at Gunga Dan Rather reporting from Afghanistan and say, "There is no way that can be true." Sometimes it was; about as true, for example, as our report of Steve Attwood's untimely finish.

He'd banged a deer all right, but the accident was much more severe than had first been thought. He was hospitalized with a concussion, broken ribs, and a fractured collarbone. The oddity of it was that it was a low-speed crash, principally because he was limping toward San Francisco with a dying wheel bearing, the same problem that nearly cost him the rally two years ago. He had retired shortly after Spokane, realizing that he would be time-barred at the next two checkpoints.

Sic transit gloria Bambi.

September 4 - Day 6 - Time on Their Hands

So if you've ridden ten hours out of the straightest, quickest line from San Diego to grab that tantalizing 341 point bonus in Torrey, UT --- we won't even begin to discuss that you'll be sleeping out in the cold, raw mountains that night because the Torrey gas station, where you need a receipt, won't open until 0700 and the motel wouldn't open its doors to even Cheryl Tiegs after 2300 --- you're going to watch 295 of those points swirl down the storm sewer when you show up in Florida at 1859. Your bonus has gone straight to hell and you'll never get those ten hours of sleep back, at least not while it counts.

It could be worse. You could show up at 1901 and lose about eighteen hundred octobillion points, condemning you to the "also-ran" category and ensuring that e-mail will let people around the world know how you screwed the pooch.

Ask Ron Ayres, the hard-charger who was in second place in San Diego. Not only did he come within 120 seconds of being shut out in Florida after a 4,000 mile ride, he managed to lose all his receipts between San Diego and Abilene, TX because he didn't zip his tank bag. So much for those bonus claims. The way his ride is turning, he's probably fortunate that he wasn't arrested for littering.

Frank Taylor, third in San Diego, fared even worse. He tried to make Mount Rushmore, a journey that would have required his averaging almost 48 mph for 75 continuous hours, and came up short. Count him out of it. The only other rider in the field who tried for South Dakota was Ken Hatton. His bike perished in the attempt.

Swamp Thing Shrader is, predictably, orbiting somewhere between Mars and Asteroid B612. Knowing that he would never make Fort Lauderdale in this century, he concluded that he would cut his losses and head straight for the next checkpoint near Portland, ME. Better check those rules first, Thing. You still have to prove that you went to Fort Lauderdale, even if a week late, or they won't even look at your paperwork in Maine.

Also time-barred in Florida were Fritz and Phyllis Lang and Leonard Aron on the '46 Indian. They all insist that they will be attempting the northbound leg. Aron's bike continues to run, look, and sound better than he does.

Iron Butt horror stories are not usually balanced with serendipitous ones, but Chuck Pickett and Mary Sue Johnson took a fastball under the chin and came up smiling. Thinking they were running an hour behind schedule, they appeared at the Burger King checkpoint to discover that it opened at 1800, not 1700. I think it's Mickey's white gloves that throw people off. Maybe they need some sequins.

Surviving various catastrophes to move up several places were IBR veteran Eddie Metz, always a top-ten finisher, Marty Jones, Morris Kruemeke, and Eddie James. The latter overcame bashing his front wheel on curb, trying to domesticate a headlight bulb, and running out of gas for a delay of almost five hours. He moved from eighth to fourth. With a few more disasters, Eddie could be in excellent shape by rally's end.

Motorcycle Consumer News' entry, the Honda Helix scooter with Ed Otto aboard, was swamped with curious admirers at the Florida control. Some 150 people had gathered to see the little engine that could. The machine currently leads, among others, a Gold Wing, Venture, ST1100, GSXR1100, and K75, bikes that have three to five times greater engine displacement than the diminutive putter.

At 1900 on the dot, the field headed for the Great Satan himself, Interstate 95, for the interminable ride north. Tick tick tick. It's the sound of time hurrying more rapidly and relentlessly than even Gary Eagan.

THE TOP TEN AT CHECKPOINT #3:

  1   Gary Eagan               BMW K1100LT           9,263
  2   Eddie Metz               Honda Gold Wing       9,117
  3   Marty Jones              Kawasaki Voyager      9,108
  4   Eddie James              BMW K1100RS           8,920
  5   Morris Kruemeke          Honda Gold Wing       8,789
  6   Boyd Young               BMW K100RS            8,557
  7   Ron Ayres                BMW K1100LT           8,487
  8   Rick Morrison            BMW R100RT            8,458
  9   Eugene McKinney          BMW R1100RS           8,426
 10   Ron Major                Honda ST1100          8,413

Others of note:

 14   Jesse Pereboom           H-D FLHT              8,167 (top H-D)
 20   Karol Patzer             BMW K75C              7,931 (top lady)

Reynolds Sportcenter, Gorham, Maine (near Portland)
Open: 1800, Wednesday, September 6
Close: 2000
Contact Scott: 207-929-6641

September 5 - Day 7 - Throwing Dice

It wasn't. Somehow I got through the trip in one piece, however, wrote a long story about it, and decided that it was yet another entry on the increasingly long list of trips I never wanted to do again. But it did partially atone for all the years I'd spent busting my butt on a bike to no good purpose whatsoever. I'd gotten into motorcycling when I was in college to make money and meet lots of women.

The Iron Butt boys and girls --- well, the average age of the starters was 46.3 --- are being tempted to do what I did, though the pressures on them are considerably higher. They have to make checkpoints. I didn't. And I averaged a slothful 750 miles a day. In Florida the bottom man still running was doing better than that, the median rider was averaging 921, and Roy Ayres, at the top, had been hitting 1,150 every day for nearly a week.

The temptation to bag each of the contiguous states comes in the form of a bonus in excess of 3,000 points. Rallymaster Steve Chalmers sprang it on them as the final surprise of the driver's meeting. More than a couple of eyebrows were raised. Months before the rally began, attorney Eric Faires suspected something like this was coming, which tells me that the O. J. prosecutors could have used his talents. Studying various computer mapping problems led him to believe that it would be out of his range.

But it might not be out of the question for some other riders. It has been known for some time that Morris Kruemcke, Eddie James, Gary Eagan, and Martin Hildebrandt (a German citizen who speaks better English than you do) have been eyeing the enormous bonus. Obviously, grabbing that brass ring can turn the rally standings upside down. In 1991 a mere six points separated the top three riders at the end.

Kruemcke can do it; he made no secret of his considering it soon as Chalmers announced it. Eagan obviously is capable, as his first place position at all three checkpoints to date conclusively proves. Eddie James, with his erstwhile riding companion, Lyle the (stuffed) Bear, could probably nail all 48 and some of the Canadian provinces, if he doesn't do something insane along the way. Even if Hildebrandt could make it, the party is over for him; he is currently mired in 36th place.

Former repeat Iron Butt contestants themselves, Chalmers and Kneebone know that the rally is not won by riding at triple-digit speeds for 23 hours a day. It is a battle between a complex series of bonus trade-offs and a fading capacity to analyze them intelligently. There is normally only one route that will produce a maximum leg score and yet provide at least a minimum amount of rest for the energy to continue. It has never been easy to calculate; this year it's worse.

In 49 B.C. Julius Caesar camped at the edge of the Rubicon river in northern Italy. On the other side, daring him to cross, were the disgusting Cisalpine Gaul, whose descendants would fail to win a single war of any consequence in the 20th century, though they did build cathedrals of some interest in Paris and Chartres. Caesar stared back at them, irritated.

His orders from the Roman Senate were unmistakable. Don't do it, they'd said. "Cogito, ergo sum," Caesar responded, which loosely translates to "I'll roll the dice." And he did. History does not record what the dice total was, but on the steps of the Louvre they're still talking about what happened next.

Is there a Caesar in the Iron Butt field? I wish I knew.

September 6 - Day 8 - Iron Men, Iron Butts, and Iron Bears

With an amazing 4,749 bonus points on the Florida-to-Maine leg, James shot past a faltering Gary Eagan, consistent Marty Jones, and wiry veteran, Eddie Metz. James' bonus total for the leg was second only to the staggering 5,000+ posted by Tom Loegering on an R1100GS.

James was reported to be looking as well as could be expected after more than a week of 1,000+ mile days. Instead of taking the bonus gold mines in West Virginia on his way north, he apparently opted for an easterly route that included passing over and through the Chesapeake Bay bridge-tunnel to Maryland's eastern shore. There he had a full night's sleep before pressing on to Maine. He said that he has given up the quest for the 3,000+ 48-state bonus.

In an article for Motorcyclist Magazine following the 1993 IBR, I wrote, "Before the [end of the event], there would be an atomized universal joint, seized valves, croaked carbs, oil seepage to challenge the Exxon Valdez, and two charging system failures that threatened to turn the motorcycle into an electric chair. AND THAT WAS JUST ONE BIKE!"

The rider on that Hell Hound was Tom Loegering, who, despite adversity that would prompt an angel swear like a sailor, had risen steadily to third place in the standings at the next-to-last checkpoint before a final mechanical failure knocked him back to seventh place overall. Many consider his ride to be the most remarkable story in Iron Butt history.

And he's doing it again, but this time on a bike that won't break. His BMW R1100GS, one of the world's most awesome dual-sport machines, took him to an absurd array of bonuses from Florida to Maine, including a bizarre excursion to the tip of Cape Cod. It is a dual-lane road that barely rises to the level of a highway, and had to have been packed with clotting mobs of Labor Day tourists. Yet he did it, and rocketed from 15th to 3rd place in the process.

Gary Eagan, the leader at the first three controls, went in the tank. He told checkpoint workers in Maine that he "thinks" he is having bike trouble. Now I can understand how a woman might think she is pregnant, but isn't bike trouble something that is pretty much a binary proposition? I mean, either there's trouble or there's not. Some insiders detect the scent of either a sandbag or a burnout in the air. Eagan missed Delaware and New Jersey on his ride north. In his continuing quest for the 48-state bonus, he said that he will backtrack to pick them up on his way to Salt Lake City for the rally's finish late Saturday afternoon. We'll see.

Winner of the longest-distance-travelled-to-the-start award, Germany's Martin Hildebrandt, arrived in Maine with 7.5 hours to spare and believes that he can indeed manage all 48 states. Late arrivals, but avoiding the dreaded miss, were Brad Hogue, Karol Patzer, Garve Nelson, Doug Stover, and the MacAteers. Taking a miss were Mary Sue Johnson, Chuck Pickett, and Rick Morrison, who sheepishly admitted that he'd gotten greedy, tried to grab some bonuses in New Jersey, became helplessly lost, and dove from the Top Ten to 39th position. Each of them is still running and hopeful of making the final run back to Salt Lake City.

And what of the hapless wanderer, Rick "Swamp Thing" Shrader, who continues to orbit in deep space? On the morning after the Maine control closed, rallymaster Steve Chalmers sent an e-mail to Mike Kneebone. "You'll love this. I just got a call from Jean Shrader and she said, 'Rick won't make the checkpoint in Maine.' When I explained to her that it was yesterday and not today, she seemed quite surprised." Thing, with another DNF under his Iron Butt belt, now is on his way to the finish at his customary speed of Warp 9, probably with his anti-Klingon shields fully deployed.

Texan Morris Kruemcke did worse than Eagan on the leg, but his dive may not be telling the whole story. If he can make the 48-state bonus, as he has planned to do from the start, he could find himself in an enviable position, such as first, in another three days.

The Honda 250cc scooter, against all odds, persists in ferrying Ed Otto from point to point. As in each of the previous three legs, the Helix has gained ground in the standings, on this round beating such hot shoes as Eagan, Metz, and Kruemcke. They said it couldn't be done. Hell, _I_ said it couldn't be done.

Finally, on a day when Iron Men (and women) are not far from our thoughts, we should not forget an inspiration for all of the contestants. A simple "Thanks, Cal" will do, I think.

Standing                                  Position        Maine     Total
Maine  Name                Bike        WA    CA    FL    Points    Points

  1    James, Eddie        BMW         11     8     4     4,749    13,669
  2    Jones, Martin       Kawasaki     9     9     3     4,544    13,652
  3    Loegering, Tom      BMW         19    15    15     5,109    13,263
  4    Eagan, Gary         BMW          1     1     1     3,719    12,982
  5    Ayres, Ron          BMW          3     2     7     4,479    12,966
  6    Metz, Eddie         Honda        5     4     2     3,674    12,791
  7    McKinney, Eugene    BMW         33    14     9     4,337    12,763
  8    Pereboom, Jesse     H-D         30    13    14     4,579    12,746
  9    Major, Ron          Honda       14    20    10     4,314    12,727
 10    Eastwood, Roy       BMW         13    18    17     4,406    12,476
 11    Brooks, Harold      Honda       22    21    18     4,390    12,401
 12    Stockton, Michael   BMW         21    17    12     3,992    12,319
 13    Faires, Eric        BMW         41    33    16     4,138    12,263
 14    Kruemcke, Morris    Honda        6     7     5     3,436    12,225
 15    Donovan, Kevin      Honda       34    24    19     4,130    12,123
 16    Keating, Keith      BMW         17    46    24     4,314    12,046
 17    Young, Boyd         BMW         10    12     6     3,462    12,019
 18    Hogue, Bradley      Honda       12    11    11     3,454    11,852
 19    Clemmons, Jerry     Honda       24    23    13     3,212    11,491
 20    Haak, Horst         BMW         35    34    22     3,667    11,455
 21    Rowland, Hank       BMW         36    35    21     3,667    11,455
 22    Otto, Ed            Honda       43    36    26     3,751    11,442
 23    Smith, Gregg        Yamaha      29    26    27     3,751    11,432
 24    Culp, Jim           Honda       26    30    23     3,291    11,026
 25    Fickess, Ed         Yamaha      16    28    30     3,273    10,852
 26    Searcy, Dennis      H-D         42    27    25     3,040    10,765
 27    Thommes, William    H-D         44    38    29     3,000    10,604
 28    Murphy, Michael     Honda       37    29    31     3,013    10,578
 29    Elberfeld, Charles  BMW         38    25    32     3,013    10,513
 30    Patzer, Karol       BMW         28    31    20     2,453    10,384
 31    Mello, Kevin        BMW         46    40    35     3,000    10,381
 32    Hildebrandt, Martin Honda       47    44    36     3,000    10,350
 33    Kerslake, David     Suzuki      27    32    38     3,000    10,336
 34    Ransbottom, Robert  BMW         50    41    40     3,000    10,156
 35    Stover, Doug        Honda       45    37    34     2,343     9,761
 36    Nelson, Garve       Honda       49    47    39     2,270     9,545
 37    McAteer, Ron&Karen  Honda       48    45    37     1,930     9,280
 38    Taylor, Frank       Yamaha       7     3    41     2,750     8,501
 39    Morrison, Rick      BMW         15    10     8         0     8,458
 40    Johnson, Mary Sue   H-D         25    16    28         0     7,657
 41    Pickett, Chuck      Honda       32    19    33         0     7,432
       Shrader, Rick       BMW          2     5    out
       Hatton, Ken         Kawasaki     8     6    out
       Kellerman,  Ardys   BMW         23    22    out
       Aron, Leonard       Indian      39    39    out
       Lang, Phyliss       H-D         51    42    out
       Lang, Fritz         Honda       52    43    out
       Fairchild, Robert   Honda       54    out      
       Losofsky, Steve     BMW          4    out      
       Gottfredson, Gary   BMW         18    out      
       Attwood, Steve      Guzzi       20    out              
       Loegering, T. Jr    BMW         31    out              
       Bush, Brian         BMW         40    out (film crew/only to Calif)
       Honemann, Bob       BMW         53    out              
       Ciccarelli, Skip    Guzzi       out                    

September 7 - Day 9 - Out of Sight, Out of Their Minds

For nine days they have been on the road in a contest that has taxed them close to their considerable limits. As exhaustion sets in, they are beginning to make rookie mistakes, jeopardizing their chances even to finish.

Iron Butt strategists, watching from the easy comfort of the sidelines, are at a loss to explain some of the bonus selections on the Florida to Maine leg. Tom Loegering, who bagged the most and vaulted into third place, bypassed a relatively easy but valuable bonus at the top of Maine in favor of some smaller bonuses that were not only harder to snare but worth less as well.

"I know I rode to some strange places when I ran the Butt in '91 and '93," rallymaster Steve Chalmers said, shaking his head in wonder. "But not like these guys are doing. Maybe one of these days I'll figure why they go where they go."

Chalmers believes that the seductive call of the massive 3,343 48-state bonus has led some of the top riders down the primrose path. In their fever to step into each of the contiguous states, they are riding right past bonuses that, in their totality, are worth more than they will obtain if --- and as each hour passes the "if" grows larger in geometric leaps --- they manage to touch each of the Lower 48.

Steady Eddie Metz went to one bonus in West Virginia but didn't do two others in the vicinity. Gary Eagan nailed 14 states on the road north, but inexplicably missed New Jersey and Delaware. Morris Kruemcke did the same thing. Are these riders, who have left most of the field in their wake, fading, or are they simply trying to lull their competitors into a false sense of security? No one knows.

As expected, the bonuses on the final leg dwarf those of earlier legs. If a rider could make Blaine, WA in the extreme northwest part of the country, nearly 2,500 points could be swept up. It would require averaging 60 mph for 71 hours with a provision for just 16 minutes of sleep along the way. Good luck on that one.

More realistic are the three alternate routes to the finish line. The southern route has a few decent bonuses, but the total mileage does not seem worth the effort. The northern route via Michigan, North Dakota, and Montana is somewhat more inviting, offering bailout provisions for anyone trying for Blaine.

But the key is in Colorado. There are six bonuses worth more than 2,200 points, five of them within hour's ride of Denver. The rider who goes there, I predict, will win the rally.

Unless something else happens.

The finish line:

Opens: 1700 hours MDT, September 9
Closes: 1900 hours MDT, September 9
Location: Quality Inn (airport)
Address: I-80, Exit 113, ten miles west of Salt Lake City

September 8 - Day 10 - Riding Home

In its final hours this edition of the Iron Butt Rally is reverting to form. In 1993 Steve Attwood walked away from the field, but his finish is not typical. Most rallies are lost, not won, in the closing hours by exotic mistakes that can be explained only by a psychiatrist. In the '91 IBR the difference between first and third place was six points. Ron Major was the beneficiary of crushing, unbelievable errors by two other riders mere hours from the rally's conclusion. It could be true in 1995.

One day Eddie James, who held a tiny 16 point lead over Marty Jones in Maine, will explain to his grandchildren why he decided to visit Reading, PA for 117 points. Of the 34 possible bonus sites on the Maine to Utah leg, none --- I repeat, none --- is worth fewer points. He'll tell them how much time he lost riding through the awful, mountainous state roads instead of steaming west on an interstate highway at flank speed toward Colorado where the real bonus locations were. He may mention that he left his camera, and the Polaroid photo that was proof of his visit to the worthless bonus site, behind. He'll tell them, but they won't believe it.

Morris Kruemcke wanted a Rhode Island bridge in the middle of nowhere. He must like bridges, because there sure wasn't any other reason to lose so much time for 291 points. Of course, for 10 points less he could have hooked the Rodeo Hall of Fame lying just 100 yards off I-25 in Colorado Springs. Having sacrificed so much for so long for the 48-state bonus, he admitted to Kneebone Friday morning in a telephone call that the hope for that has probably dried up like yesterday's tears. At that point Morris was several hours behind Ed Otto and the Honda scooter.

That remarkable duo was last heard from on Friday night. They were holed up in a motel in Grand Island, NE. Eddie had planned to get five hours of sleep and run the last 800 miles to Salt Lake in 14 hours. That is not a minor league ride for a touring bike. But for a 250cc scooter and its gutsy pilot, it is merely the conclusion of an impossible story, one that seems destined to come true. Eddie and the Helix have more fans around the country crossing their fingers than they ever could have dreamed possible.

Meanwhile, there is almost a complete blackout surrounding the rest of the front runners in Maine. Marty Jones, nipping at Eddie James' heels, was believed to have captured the mother lode of bonuses near Denver by mid-day Friday and may have headed to Yellowstone Park for more. If true, he is superbly positioned and could be the man to beat. He has run a flawless rally.

When the sun drops over the yardarm tomorrow afternoon, it will begin to sear the riders' eyes as they plow west. Mentally they will calculate the hours remaining, the miles yet to go, and their chances of sliding into the narrow time window that opens at 1700 MDT. They will return to the motel parking lot that they left 264 hours and so many, many miles ago.

They know the way home. They just have to get there. Somehow.

September 9 - Day 11 - On the Flight Deck, the Fat Lady Warms Up

Gastonia, North Carolina Gold Wing pilot Jerry Clemmons was the first to touch down on the deck. He slowly unbolted himself from the bike, smiled wanly, and said, "I ride a lot. Back home everyone knows me for doing big miles. But these guys whipped my butt."

He took his evidence towel out, the shocking pink one with his rider number stenciled prominently on it. For 11 days he had hung the towel on signs and photographed it as proof of his having visited a bonus site. Now he simply wiped his face with it. For pilot Clemmons the ordeal was over.

Neurosurgeon Mike Murphy came in next. He had a photo of his towel draped over a police car in North Carolina. It was a joke. He'd run the entire event without having been stopped.

They began to appear with increasing frequency just after noon. Tennessee's Eric Faires, looking too relaxed after what he'd been through. Canada's Roy Eastwood, driven away from a gigantic bonus in northern Michigan by gale-force winds. Virginia's Harold Brooks, taking a straight shot from Maine. Mississippi's Eugene McKinney, rising from 33rd at the first checkpoint to 7th place in Maine.

At 12:30 the first of the true aces, Tom Loegering, popped out of the sky on his fearsome BMW dual-sport R1100GS, a dirt bike with an attitude. In heroic fashion he had just crushed another leg and instantly became the man to beat, only to be later disqualified for using a doctored identification towel in several photo-bonuses. One who could do just that, customs agent Marty Jones, showed up next. He too had grabbed a fistful of bonuses on the final leg. Would it be enough?

Keating, Thommes, and Fickess arrived. "I saw Gregg Smith doing push ups at a rest stop on the Ohio Turnpike," the latter said. "It was raining. I said, `What the hell?' and just kept riding." Fickess had just passed a man who, before the day was out, would make Iron Butt history.

Karol Patzer, Frank Taylor, and Gregg Smith rolled in. For Patzer, it was her first attempt at the event and she completed it with style. For Taylor the rally was a let down from his second place finish in 1993. For the shy, self-effacing Smith, it was just another eleven days at the office. He is the only person ever to have completed four of these brutal events.

As the afternoon wore on, more arrived. Morrison, Rowland, Stockton, and Hogue. Charles Elberfeld, not even bothering to get off his bike, looked at Chalmers and said, "Now, once again, just how many laps is this thing?"

Donovan, Young, Haak, Metz, Ransbottom, and Searcy. Forty-five minutes before the checkpoint officially opened, Minnesota's Eddie James, the leader of the pack in Maine, rolled in. He had overcome initial difficulties on the leg, somehow summoned the power to recover, and had mined the bonus gold field near Denver. He had done all he could do. He knew it would be close.

"You won't believe what I saw in the Wasatch mountains," James laughed. "A half-mile ahead of me was what I thought was a Gold Wing, struggling to make the uphill grade. Trucks in first gear were passing the poor thing."

Stover, Kerslake, Culp, and long-ball hitter Morris Kruemcke came in at 1645. Ten minutes later another contender, Gary Eagan, who had led at the first three checkpoints, pulled up. He had averaged over 1,100 miles each day for eleven days. No one on this event would ride farther.

In the final minutes before the checkpoint opened and the lateness penalties began to accumulate, Jesse Pereboom on his Harley battlewagon hove into view. "They said it would burn up in the desert," he smiled. "It didn't." Ron Major, the '91 IBR winner, ducked in under the wire.

Mary Sue Johnson and Chuck Pickett, riding together as Siamese twins, were nine minutes late. "She is the best motorcyclist I've ever ridden with," Pickett said. "I can't wait to do this again."

At 1722, taking a few lateness points, the apparition that Eddie James had earlier seen in the mountains appeared. It hadn't been a Gold Wing. It wasn't even a real motorcycle. It was just Ed Otto and the Honda Helix. For days he had manhandled the scooter up thousands of hills. He'd been stopped by a trooper on an interstate for not being able to make the minimum speed due to headwinds. He had continued, and his arrival wrote "finis" to one of the Iron Butt's most incredible stories of perseverance in the face of unimaginable adversity.

But Kneebone's fears were justified. Not all would make it back before the two-hour time window slammed shut. Garve Nelson, at 72 the oldest entrant, called to say he would not arrive until the following morning. Ron and Karen MacAteer did the same. But their proof of arrival in Salt Lake City tomorrow will credit them with a finish on the Iron Butt rally. Not one motorcyclist in 50,000 can claim that achievement.

Final Standings

                                               P o s i t i o n    Total
Place Name                AGE  Bike            WA   CA   FL  ME   Points

  1   Eagan, Gary          46  BMW K1100LT       1    1    1   4   19,922
  2*  Jones, Martin        34  Kawasaki Voyager  9    9    3   2   19,875
  3   Hildebrandt, Martin  29  Honda ST1100     47   44   36  32   17,982
  4*  Major, Ron           54  Honda ST1100     14   20   10   9   17,369
  5   McKinney, Eugene     52  BMW R1100RS      33   14    9   7   17,303
  6   Ayres, Ron           52  BMW K1100LT       3    2    7   5   17,186
  7   Stockton, Michael    40  BMW K1100LT      21   17   12  12   17,150
  8*  Kruemcke, Morris     52  Honda Gold Wing   6    7    5  14   16,933
  9   Donovan, Kevin       36  Honda Gold Wing  34   24   19  15   16,769
 10   Young, Boyd          35  BMW K100RS       10   12    6  17   16,566
 11*  Brooks, Harold       55  Honda Gold Wing  22   21   18  11   16,549
 12*  Eastwood, Roy        51  BMW R1100RS      13   18   17  10   16,530
 13*  Metz, Eddie          36  Honda Gold Wing   5    4    2   6   16,460
 14*  Faires, Eric         35  BMW K1100LT      41   33   16  13   16,412
 15   Pereboom, Jesse      26  H-D FLHT         30   13   14   8   16,241
 16   Hogue, Bradley       47  Honda Gold Wing  12   11   11  18   15,806
 17   Clemmons, Jerry      48  Honda Gold Wing  24   23   13  19   15,527
 18   Keating, Keith       45  BMW R1100RS      17   46   24  16   15,519
 19*  Smith, Gregg         48  Yamaha Venture   29   26   27  23   15,101
 20   Haak, Horst          57  BMW K1100RS      35   34   22  20   14,951
 21   Rowland, Hank        61  BMW K100RT       36   35   21  21   14,951
 22*  Otto, Ed             43  Honda Helix      43   36   26  22   14,891
 23*  Culp, Jim            44  Honda Gold Wing  26   30   23  24   14,695
 24   Searcy, Dennis       47  H-D FLT          42   27   25  26   14,434
 25   Murphy, Michael      57  Honda ST1100     37   29   31  28   14,247
 26   Kerslake, David      31  Suzuki GSXR1100  27   32   38  33   14,167
 27   Fickess, Ed          49  Yamaha Venture   16   28   30  25   14,152
 28   Thommes, William     51  H-D FXRP         44   38   29  27   14,077
 29   Elberfeld, Charles   43  BMW K75SA        38   25   32  29   14,009
 30   Patzer, Karol        47  BMW K75C         28   31   20  30   14,003
 31   Ransbottom, Robert   40  BMW K75RT        50   41   40  34   13,652
 32   Stover, Doug         48  Honda Gold WIng  45   37   34  35   13,061
 33   Taylor, Frank        56  Yamaha FJ1200     7    3   41  38   11,501
 34   Morrison, Rick       40  BMW R100RT       15   10    8  39   11,458
 35   Johnson, Mary Sue    57  H-D Dyna Wide Gli25   16   28  40   10,567
 36   Pickett, Chuck       53  Honda Gold Wing  32   19   33  41   10,342
 37   McAteer, Ron&Karen   62  Honda ST1100     48   45   37  37    9,280

Did Not Finish

      Mello, Kevin         29  BMW K100LT       46   40   35  31   10,381
      Shrader, Rick        49  BMW R1100RS       2    5   42  42    5,573
      Hatton, Ken          46  Kawasaki ZX11     8    6   43  43    5,484
      Kellerman, Ardys     63  BMW K75RT        23   22   44  44    4,817
      Aron, Leonard        49  Indian Chief     39   39   45  45    4,688
   *  Lang, Phyliss        57   H-D FXR         51   42   46  46    4,643
   *  Lang, Fritz          57   Honda Silver Win52   43   47  47    4,643
   *  Fairchild, Robert    40   Honda Gold Wing 54   48   48  48    4,250
   *  Losofsky, Steve      43   BMW K100RS       4   49   49  49    2,639
   *  Gottfredson, Gary    58   BMW K100RS      18   50   50  50    2,251
   *  Attwood, Steve       38   Motor Guzzi     20   51   51  51    2,242
      Loegering, Tom Jr    27   BMW K100RS      31   52   52  52    2,204
      Honemann, Bob        49   BMW R60/2       53   54   54  54    2,175
      Ciccarelli, Skip     47   Moto Guzzi      55   55   55  55        0